A friend of mine maintains that everyone has someone who they want to punch in the face.
‘What do you mean?’ I ask. ‘Like an ex, or someone who bullied you as a kid?’
‘Nah – it could be someone you’ve never met. But you hate this person, all the same.’
I blink in confusion.
‘My person is Tobey Maguire.’
I’m sure I look as baffled as I feel. ‘Why?’
‘You don’t like his acting? I think that he’s pretty good. Did you ever see The Cider House Rules?’
‘If it has him in it, I’m not going to.’
Her expression is so serious, I can’t help laughing. But I still have to ask, ‘Why?’
‘There’s just something about him…’
Irrefutable logic there. Shaking my head, I try to decide if there’s anyone who I want to punch in the face. I guess the fact that I’ve never considered it means the answer is ‘no’. Sure, a few people annoy me, but I’m pretty sure that the only ones I’ve mentally beat up are fictional.
‘I’m glad we’re friends, Em.’
In my mind, I see a fist sailing through the air, and bloody teeth spewing from my mouth, because I did something that reminded her of Tobey Maguire. ‘Me too.’